plutokitty: lost: juliet and sawyer by icequeen3101 (Default)
[personal profile] plutokitty
So the Extended Cut DLC comes out tomorrow and. It's weird. When they first announced it I was excited and hopeful and actually optimistic. But as time has passed my feelings have taken a turn downwards.

It's to the point now where I almost want to just hide in my own headcanon and never come out. I'm so afraid of being disappointed, which is dumb because I'm not a person who outright hates the ending; I was pretty neutral, with a side of depressed and a hint of let down by the plot holes. Depressed because even though I knew Shepard died and had pretty much accepted it before I finished the game, after seeing her goodbye to Garrus I suddenly wanted her to, more than anything, get to live her life post this war. She deserved that beach, that moment of peace, and hell if she really wanted it, a house full of kroger babies with Garrus. It got even worse after seeing her limp her way through the Citadel. I raged so much at Hackett hollering for her help when she was pretty much dying. Leave her be, I wanted to shout, at least give her this death, looking on the Earth she saved, getting the "father"'s praise from Anderson which she never had a chance to get as an orphaned child.

Ugh. Yeah. Now, I know the ending was full of holes but the thing that bothered me most was I didn't feel Shepard had peace at the end. At first I chose Synthesis because I thought "she will give peace to her friends and everyone lives" but that never sat right, it felt wrong. And so I went back and did Destroy. But I don't think she went into that ending feeling glorious and victorious about it. I think she would have as much bitter-ashes taste in her mouth at committing genocide on the geth she saved and murdering her friend EDI even though she knew it meant saving everyone else. Maybe at least knowing it meant her death too meant the price was fair.

(Except if your EMS is high enough, she lives, and... and what then? It seems so awful. Or maybe the Quarians find some way to reboot the geth and they reconstruct EDI somehow, because the starJerk seemed to suggest this did not mean they would never have mechanical life again)

I don't know, why has this turned into my ramblings about the ending? I guess because that ending stomped on my heart and I'm so afraid of being disappointed by the Extended Cut DLC, that it will make things worse instead of better. That it won't give Shepard any more peace because it's just an expansion, not a modification. Will she get to shout at the starchild at least, tell him to fuck himself and his fucking choices? Even if she's forced to make those choices still, in the end. She should at least tell him to go to hell.

Sometimes expanding on a vague or "artistic" ending makes it worse. I'm guilty of this myself. Sometimes it means I didn't really know what I wanted when I wrote the ending, or sometimes it means you don't WANT to flesh out the details because people have already invented them in their own heads, and what they invent will always be better.

I don't know. What the hell, it's the ending to a fucking video game. I shouldn't care this much. I don't care this much. Or something.

...Hold me?
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plutokitty: lost: juliet and sawyer by icequeen3101 (Default)

October 2012

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